I have never identified with Lot's wife before. As a child hearing the story, I was amazed at how stupid she could be to turn around and do the thing God said specifically not to do. How many times have I done that in my own life? I woke up with my heart pounding several nights ago. I was still in that half fog state of dreaming. I was in the middle of conversation with God. He was telling me that I had been like Lot's wife. Here I am, a confirmed Christian. I am looking back on the evil I have done and longing for it again. So many people have told me that watching Sex in the City is not a terrible thing. It is, though. If I want to be close to Jesus in relationship, I should sever ties with all that is evil. It's not the sex that's evil. It's the foul language and the raunchy behavior. It's not just the show, either. It's me, not looking forward to all I have been promised by my heavenly father, instead dwelling on the past. My earthy father calls that being a slop-bucket Christian. Constantly going back and digging up sins that have long since been forgiven. Or worse, in my case, wanting to go back to those sins and do them again.
But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you. Save me from all my transgressions; do not make me the scorn of fools. Psalm 39:7,8
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