fame talking, lame walking

I really have never understood talk shows that exploit the sins of the masses. They bring on some woman who wants to tell her boyfriend (in front of millions, at the very least thousands) that she is cheating. Is it the money? Is it the need for fame?

I wonder, though, how much this blog of mine is similar. I confess to secretly desiring fame. I would love to be popular. How different is this outlet, I wonder, than going on television to talk of my sins? I am confessing sins and flinging them out into the abyss that is the internet.

Lately, I have not come here. My own life has been far too busy. Now that I return I am somewhat embarassed at the content on these pages. It's such a vunerable thing, I've done. I'd rather strangers read it than my own family and friends. The reason why is so very telling. I would have to get up and face them every day. Would they be thinking of my recent bout with pride? Would they hold any of this against me in some secret prejudice?

I guess that speaks to my enormous insecurity. I want to be well-liked. I want to be at peace with people. I don't want to bring any negative attention to myself. Still, I can not reason away that God would like me to share my journey with you. Whoever you are. And most likely if you are reading this....you know me personally, because it's pretty difficult to just stumble upon these pages.

So read on, and perhaps in the new year I'll post more often. At the very least I hope my words do not wound anyone beyond repair. At the very most I hope that they stir a remembrance of why we are here. It is all about God, you know.

John 1:3,4
All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made. In Him was life, and the life was the light of men.